No Guns For You (Christmas review 8)

In my opinion, platform games were the staple of the video game industry in the 80s, and there’s still very much a place for them today on devices that don’t quite have the capabilities of modern 3D graphics systems. Unfortunately, there seems to be a lack of creativity these days when it comes to actually implementing this treasured genre of game. Fun And Mobile decided to take a stab at it with their first game offering, I Hate Guns, and what could have been a good platforming romp ultimately left me feeling a bit unfulfilled.

The basic story is that you play McGrady, a 50 year old ex-cop whose daughter has been kidnapped by an evil tyrant in the Near East. It’s up to you to save your daughter and figure out why she was kidnapped in the first place. The story is told through letters left by the mysterious HQ and phone calls between you and the man who tipped you off to your daughter’s whereabouts in the first place. It is somewhat of an interesting story, but through six short levels you don’t get enough build up, and by the time it’s through you’re left with more questions than answers. I’ve seen no indication of a sequel, either, so this may be one of those “never-ending stories”.

The game plays out in standard platform fare. You run and jump to get through each level, often employing the aid of trampolines to reach higher places that you normally couldn’t get to. To pick up items such as health and treasures you simply run into them, and to open chests that contain such goodies you push down when standing in front of the chest. There are six basic combat moves – 3 kicks and 3 punches. They are certainly enough to get you through the game, but don’t make for a very diverse combat environment. The lack of use of weapons on your part really limits what you can do in the game.

On the other hand, there is a nice variety of opposition. Amazingly enough, most of it comes from things besides the enemy soldiers. The soldiers range from sword wielders to staff fighters to camel riders. In addition to the soldiers, however, you have to watch out for things like falling coconuts, mechanical animal traps, poisonous snakes, and spitting camels. Yes, the camels that some of the soldiers ride actually spit at you for an additional attack! And the best part is that everything is integrated into the environment. Coconuts fall from trees as you pass under them. The snakes slither around on the ground and actually rise up to strike you. Your surroundings are very alive as far as the enemies are concerned.

Besides the rather mundane gameplay, the other disconcerting factor here, and this is a rather big one, is that the game only has six levels. I realize it’s a port of a cell phone game, where space might be rather limited, but in making the transition to the PocketPC it would have been nice if they would have stuck some additional levels into the game. There’s never really a break in the levels either, as the only indication that you’re traversing from one area to the next is the letter or phone call explaining what’s happened so far. It’s a nice departure from the “Level XXX” banners most platform games flash between segments, but in the end one might argue that it really almost feels like a single level game.

Graphically, I Hate Guns is pretty amazing. It’s not so much about the quality of the graphics. While decent, they aren’t anything special. Rather, it’s about the amount of detail that went into the overall background of the game. Scorpions crawl around the ground, while songbirds and vultures fly from the trees as you rustle them up. In the immediate background you see merchants selling their wares, while in the distant background you see more soldiers maintaining a camp. Much of what exists in the game world is nicely animated, whether it be a camp fire with smoke rising out of it or a guard tossing his sword in the air while waiting for you to approach. In a lot of ways I’m reminded of the Metal Slug series of games when it comes to the care with which the environment was rendered.

I Hate Guns contained the standard platform punching and kicking sounds, as well as the perquisite grunts and groans that accompany any game with a fighting element. But like the graphics, the beauty here is in the details. Rile up some birds, and they’ll chirp as they fly away. Listen and you’ll hear the crackling of the fire as you pass one by. One of the enemy types even whistles if he enters idle mode waiting for you to approach. Sadly, there was no soundtrack to accompany the wonderful sound effects.

I Hate Guns could have been something special. The atmosphere was so well crafted that you really wanted to be drawn into the game. Unfortunately, lack of diverse gameplay elements and an ultimately short amount of play time knock I Hate Guns far from the top. If they ever decide to continue the story, I really hope chapter two has a lot more depth. And if you don’t want to give me any guns, at least let me push things on top of people or swing towards the enemies to kick them. A little variety is all I’m asking for.

Overall Score: 5/10